“I went on a date last night, he seems really nice.”
My flatmate looks at me with a grimace and we laugh. I realise I’ve said that about the last few relationships I’ve delved into, all which have ended catastrophically, and her facial expression is a mixture of humour, horror and “here we go again.” My dating life has been the source of much hilarity, heartbreak and scandal amongst my friends in the year that I’ve been single. It wasn’t until I had a deja vu moment recently, of something one of my romantic interests had said to me, when I realised that I couldn’t remember with which one, or where, the original moment had happened. Being an organised person, a list was made in the notes of my phone, titled “Disappointing Men,” and their names were translated into the binary 1’s and 0’s to form a concrete history of my romantic endeavours. A subsection was made for potential beaus under the heading, “Men that haven’t disappointed me yet,” and my friends now check on the progress of my new relationships by asking if they have been moved to the main list. The total count currently stands at a cool 17, with asterisks after the names of those who managed to disappoint me in bed as well as emotionally, with a second asterisk ready to be added to anyone who isn’t totally disappointing in that department. There are no double asterisks on the list yet, and I don’t expect any to appear anytime soon.
Documenting and sharing my unsuccessful love life seems like a fun, Carrie Bradshaw-esque pastime for a recently finished university student; so a series is born. It is not intended to shame those I’ve gone out with, or stereotype the entirety of the male gender. Instead, it will poke fun at the modern dating scene and my disasters, which will hopefully provide solidarity to the other singles navigating our Tinder obsessed times. In the words of Ms Bradshaw, “I couldn’t help but wonder” if we are all facing the same challenges when it comes to finding a partner, or all men are just disappointing.
I guess we’ll see.
Cover art: Gustav Klimt, Studies of Romeo Reclining (1886-87)